alphabet poem # 33

Giraffes don’t wear girdles
So Giotto and Giorgione didn’t paint them.
The gipsy moth with gingivitis wore gingham
And played gin rummy with some girl scouts
While Girl Friday played the gittern.

alphabet poem # 32

The giggly gila monster liked to read Andre Gide,
Drink gin and ginger beer,
Eat gigot and gingerbread,
And ride in a gilded gig
With a giant gigolo who had a gimp.

alphabet poem # 31

The ewes were pouring water from their ewers
When the Evil One
Without ex cathedra or exaltation
Evoked
In exasperation
That pouring water from ewers
Should be an exact science.

alphabet poem # 30

The Hierophant from Hibiscus

Hiawatha and Wild Bill Hickok
Were hiding in Hibernia
When a higgledy-piggledy
Hieroglyph
Got some hideous hiccups
Beneath a hickory tree.

alphabet poem # 29

William Shakespeare
Never felt shame
He never became a sham
He never was shallow
He never wrote the word shalom
He never shambled
He never sailed in a shallop with a shaman
He never shampooed on Sundays.

alphabet poem # 28

The hard-nosed and hard-of-hearing
Harlequin
Was searching for hare-lipped
Harlots in
Hard-hearted harems
Filled with hard knocks and hard-ons.

alphabet poem # 27

My pet jellyfish loves to eat jelly beans and jelly rolls.
Jesse left on a jet with Jesus looking for Jerusalem artichokes.
The night is jet black.

alphabet poem # 26

The fifty fiends were fighting
Over a fife
In a fiery field
Rife with green figs.

alphabet poem # 25

In the twilight glow of the twilight zone
Twenty-one twice-born twerps in tuxedos
Ate their TV dinners and tutti-frutti
In their twin beds with twilled sheets
Waiting for Tweedledum and Tweedledee
To reappear from the Twilight of the Gods.

alphabet poem # 24

A prim and priggish priest,
Who was neither Priapus nor Joseph Priestly

Was the priceless pride of all the prima-donnas
During the pageant of Primavera.

But after a prim priestess pried the prim and priggish priest
Off of his proud and private prie-dieu,

All of the the prima facie primates from the Primate Prison
Gave the prim and priggish priest his first primal therapy,
But not until their feasting was done
Upon all of the delectable prime numbers of the Celestial Universe.

Dear Reader:
For your information,a prime number is a whole number not divisible without a remainder by
Any whole number other than itself and one.

alphabet poem # 23

A gnu knew it was not gneiss
To scare all of the blind mice;
Nonetheless, he then gnashed his teeth
On all of the nasty Gnostic Gnats
Who had been gnawing upon
All of their gnarled gnocchi.

alphabet poem # 22

The Goat in Goa wouldn't gobble the goblet,
But a god and goddess drank from a goatskin
Somewhere in the Godi!

alphabet poem # 21

The cinephile always went to the
Cinema dressed in his cinnabar suit
In order to brighten up the ciphers
That were moving across the silver screen.

alphabet poem # 20

Lupia, when thy Squier dies
Close thou up thy poet's eyes
And his last kiss, let it be
Given by no one but thee.

alphabet poem # 19

Gladly would I kiss my Lupia's leg
That is as smooth and creamy as an egg.

alphabet poem # 18

Pandora's
Box
Was always
Invoked
At some
Pandemic
Or
Pandemonium
By some
Non-Panglossian
Pandit
From
Pango Pango---
But at the
Pancratium
Two
Pandas
Argued
Whether
There ever
Was any
Pangaea.

alphabet poem # 17

The fishwife and fishmonger
Liked to eat their fish and chips;

The fishwife and fishmonger
Liked to fight with their fists;

But because a fishworm was found
Inside of their fish and chips

The fishwife and fishmonger
Have fought fisticuffs ever since.

alphabet poem # 16

Grosz was grotesque,
Grotius was a grouch;
Grote was grotty,
Gromyko was gross.
Grolier had groovy designs.

alphabet poem # 15

In Cipango
The cinnabar bears like to
Dance with Circe and Cinderella
In a circle of cinnamon pears.
Cinderella came to Cipango
In her cinquefoil carriage.
Circe flew.
Cinematography recorded
These
Circadian ciphers
Dancing across
Our
Computer
Age.

alphabet poem # 14

Godiva was a godlike goddess.

Goebells was a Godless goblin.

alphabet poem # 13

Twain was
No twerp
In tweed
When he tweaked
Tweedledum and tweedledee.
Twain was not just twiddling thumbs
When he used
His tweezers of Truth
To tweeze this
Two-faced
Twentieth
Century
Sleuth.

alphabet poem # 12

Cubism,
That stolid cucaracha
Of cubes and cuboids
Sat and chewed its abstract cud
On a round cucking stool.
Cubism crawled into a cockeyed and curious cubbyhole
And came out of an ancient coughing cuckoo clock.
Who can ever calculate the damage done
By those who have cuddled this crazy
Cubic cucumber from Picasso's chain-smoking palette?

alphabet poem # 11

The pontiff's poodle liked to play pool,

But Pontius Pilate simply liked to drool;

And like some mean pongid eating rotten grool,

He drank all the blood from a golden mule.

alphabet poem # 10

On Pitcairn Island it was a pitch-dark day
When a pistolier's heart went pitapat
Just before he had his piteous pitchout
With Mademoiselle Pithecanthropous.

This pitchy pitfall
Was About a fight
Over some pita bread,
Who was to eat
And who was not,
Who was to starve and
Who was to be fed.

On Pitcairn Island it was a pitch-dark day
When a pistolier's heart went pitapat
Just before he had his pitious pitchout
With Mademoiselle Pithecanthropous.

alphabet poem # 9

The dugong was playing dulcet tunes on his dulcimer at home.
The dukes of Dukhobors were having their duel in Duisburg.
Georges Duhamel slept in a dugout before he wrote a poem.
Two duffers got due process before they played golf on an iceburg.

alphabet poem # 8

Don Quixote wore his
Finest duds
Whenever
He visited
Dulcinea
In her
Duddy dugs.

alphabet poem # 7

Whenever Socrates was at home
Xanthippe played on her
Xyster instead of her xylophone.

alphabet poem # 6

A bumblebee is
Not in the bull's eye
At a bullfight,
Nor is the bullfrog
As bulletproof as a bum who uses his bumboat---
But a bump in the road can be a bummer.
Was a bull snake ever violet?
Was the bullfinch ever a segregationist?
Did Bulwer Lytton ever have a bulwark?
Can a bullroarer stop the chat at a bull session?
Can a bully bullwhip his burro until it walks to Bull Run?
Do the Zagros Mountains ever zigzag across the blue-dyed sky
Like the lovely blue-eyed zaftig ladies do from Zacatecas?

alphabet poem # 5

The bulging
Eyes
Of the bulldog's
Stare
Appear through bulbous
Cheeks
Everywhere.
I wonder, though, whether the bulldog's
Bite
Can stop a bullbat's
Flight
From the bulldozer's
Might
In a Bulletin
Bull
Out of
Bujumbura?

alphabet poem # 4

Although
The A-bomb
Is
Abominable
It
Is
Not
Aboriginal.

Although
Abortion
is
Abominable,
And
Ab Ovo,
It
Is
Not
Inevitable.

Abraham
Did
Not
Advocate
Abracadabra.

alphabet poem # 3

The Abnormal Abiogenesist
Abhorred Abolition and Absenteism
And In Abnegation
Became
An
Abject
Ablebodied
Apiarist.

alphabet poem # 2

Abdul Rahman Khan
The blue Abecedarian
Was Abeam and Abed
Until An Aberrant Abbot
Ambled upon his Abdomen and head
And became his brother
Abecedarian in red.

alphabet poem #1

An Agile
Aardvark Abandoned
All his tasty termites
And was taken Aback when
He came face to face
With an Angry Aardwolf
Who was dressed in An Aba and
Calculating his dinner
On an Alabaster Abacus.