"B" WORDS

A Buxom Babe in a Babushka Babysat

Some Babbling Baboons.

A Bactrian camel Bad mouthed

A Baker from Baghdad.

A Bald Ballerina danced a Baleful Ballet.

Balthasar Brought myrrh not Balsam to

The Bambino in Bethlehem.

A Bandit Bamboozled a Banshee from the Barbary Coast.

Two Bearded Barn owls sat in a Barouche.

The Beat generation didn't Belong to

The Bedecked & Bedizened

Beau monde.

The Bete noire in Black Baggy pants

Bethrothed the Busty Bibliophile

In a Blue Bikini.

"S" WORDS

A Striking Street walker Strode

Across the Sunny Street

Searching for

Sweet Strudel & Schoo-fly pie.

A Skinny Strumpet did a Striptease

&

Stupefied Some Sumerians.

A Sun god Sang about Sweet corn, Strawberries, Sashimi, Spaghetti, Sauerkraut & Swiss cheese.

A Sand flea, a Sardine & a Sand dollar

Danced a Saraband on Saturn.

Saul Savored Scallops, Scampi & Shrimp

Soaked in Sherry & Sangria.

A Scanty Scarecrow Shouted

In Scathing & Scarlet rage

That he needed more Straw to stay alive.

A Schizoid

Schmuck & Scnook

Practiced Schadenfreude

To Satisfy their Souls.

A Scrawny Scholar

Scoffed at & Scorned

Scrambled eggs

Sea Snakes & Scones.

A Sea horse with a Sequined Saddle

Searched for a cozy Stable

To Serenade Some Seraphim.

A Skittish Skeleton on a Skateboard

Shot his Six Shooter

&

Startled

The Skinheads & Skulls.

"I" WORDS

The Indigenous Indian

In Indigo

Indicated

With

An Index finger

That he was

Indeed

Indignant

About his

Indisputable

Indigestion.

"V" WORDS

The Vast Veldt felt like Velvet Velcro.

The Vacillating Vagabond Visited Valhalla.

The Very Vain Vampire had Valentine-shaped Varicose Veins.

The Vegetarian Ventured to eat a Venus-fly trap.

The Ventriloquist Voiced Veracious Verbiage that sounded like Verbum sap.

The Verse was Versatile Verbosity.

The Vestal Virgins were Vexed by Vibrations from the Vibrator inside Vesuvius.

The Viking's Victuals of Veal, Venison and Vegetables were marinated in

Vermouth and Vinegar.

VIP's in Virgin wool wore Villainous Visages.

A Virulent Virus Virtually Vanished after a Vat of Vitamins A, B, C, D, E, G, H & K were swallowed.

HICKEYS HIEROGLYPHS AND HONKY TONK

Hot-blooded Horus was in the Hospital after

He Had too many

Hotdogs and Hot peppers.

Hatshepsut Had Hieroglyphs of

Huge Hickeys on

Her Heifers and Hens.

Hermes Had Hooch and Honey before

He Hooted Horatian odes.

John Hume Hummed and Huffed about

Humbug, Humility and Human Rights.

Hemingway Hollered Homage to Homo erectus, Heathens and Honky-tonk.

Aldous Huxley Humphed Hymns about

Hysterical and Hypocritical Humanity.

A Hairy, Half-cocked Halibut Had a Half-baked Halo.

UPC's

Unknown Universal
Product Codes
United and Unleashed
Utopian
Usurpation.

DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH

Dreary and Dreadful Dreams Drifted like Driftwood through the Darkened Door.

Daddy longlegs Danced on a Dainty Daffodil.

A Damselfly with Dandruff Darted Down a Dentist's Dentures.

A Demented Dervish Dazzled a Despondent Debutante.

A Devout Dictator with Diarrhea Developed a Dangerous Diaper rash.

A Dybbuk Developed Dysuria, Dyslexia and Dyspepsia During Dinner.

"N" WORDS

The Naive Nabob Nagged a Naked

Naiad to feed him Nachos and Nan.

The Nappy Nanny goat Narrated a Nasty Novel about Nipples, Nurses, Nirvana and Nihilism.

The Nearsighted Nautilus liked Neapolitan ice cream.

A Naked Neanderthal wore Nefarious Neckties.

A Nematode's Neocortex was full of Neotony.

The Nibelungs Nibbled Newts, Nicknacks and Newspapers.

The Nimble Night crawler had Nightmares about Nineteen Namby-pamby Nincompoops from Newfoundland.

The Nocturnal Nomad wrote Nonstop Nonsense verse about Noodles.

A Nutty Nymph with Nymphomania Nuzzled Numerous Noblemen.

NO HARE BALLS

Hare Krishna

Harangued and Harassed

Hirsute Hebrews.

Hammurabi

Had

Hamburgers and Hamantaschen

For lunch.

Henry VIII Had Homely Hookers

Who

Hummed and Hollered

In

Humpy

Hot tubs.

LIFE WITH AN "L"

The Leery Lecher gave a Lecture on Left-handed Leeches.

The Left-wing, Left-brained Lecturer was a Legend on the Leeward Islands.

Leeuwenhoek kept a Ledger about Lice on Large Legal pads.

"C" NOTES

The Countenance of the Cosmonaut was Cottony
When the Cougar Could not Comprehend the Cosmos.
The Cute Counselor wore Costume jewelry and a Costly Costume.
A Caballero had a Caboodle of Cacti and Cabbages in his Cabana.
A Cat Caught a Canary but the Canary Consumed the Cat.
A Cenotaph in the Cemetery was a Chamber of Whores.

NOT SHREDDED WHEAT

A Shrew Shrieked when Shrapnel
Shredded his Skinny Soul.

S's

Percy Bysshe Shelley Scrawled odes about Skylarks!

Ravi Shankar Strummed a Sitar beneath the Stars!

Shubert Scoffed at Sustained Symphonies!

Scheherezade Shunned Stories with Schlock and Schmaltz!

Satan Sauteed his Sauerkraut and Sausages!

Sarah wore a Satin Sari Stitched with Shiny Sapphires!

PITIFUL

The Pallid and Pious
Pigtailed Pimp
In the
Pink Pinstripe Suit
Was a
Preying & Perverted
Pipsqueak!

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE

Ubiquitous UFOS
From
Unearthly Universes
Unveiled Urgent
Ultimatums
To
The
Human Underlings.

ANIMAL "G"-ASTRONOMY

A Gnu Gnawed a Gnat.

A Gecko Gobbled a Cat.

A Goat Guzzled A Gallon of Glue.

A Goldfish Gagged on the Golden rule.

A Gastropod Gaped at a Grimy Germ.

A Gorilla ate a Gooey worm.

A Garter snake ate Gazpacho & Guacamole.

A Giraffe Gargled Gatorade.

A German sheperd Gobbled Giblets and Goobers.

A Gerbil Gulped some Glogg.

A Greedy Grackle Grabbed the Holy Grail.

A Golden Eagle Glided on a Gusty Gale.

A Giant Grasshopper Grazed on Green Grass.

A Giant panda Grimaced when his Groin was Grabbed.

A Grouchy Grizzly bear Grumbled about Gruel and the Gross National Product.

BOOK OF CHANGES

Iteration of the Itch from poison Ivy drove Isis Insane.

Ivan the Great didn't Inhabit an Ivory tower.

Islam Irritated Isaiah and Ishtar.

The Ibis and Ibex Ingested the I Ching

And

Incurred Indigestion and Identity Crises.

Imperial Imps must be Impeached.

Incense and Incantation Initiated Incessant Incest.

"F" WORDS

The Funky

Furfur

On

The

Fur

Seal

Sent

the

Funeral

Director

Into

A

Fury.

A

Fungus

On the Furniture

In

The

Funeral

Home

Was not Funny.

The Furtive

Funny Farm

Funneled

Foul

Funny

Money

Into

A

Fiery

Furnace.

GORILLA GLUTTONY

The Gorgeous
Gorilla
Gorged & Gorged
On Goulash
And got Goose
Bumps and Gout.